It really bothers me when people audibly chomp on mashed potatoes.

Like you don't know how pissed off I get. I clench my fists and grind my teeth, and I have to literally hold myself down so that I don't wildly jump up and throw my fists onto the table and scream, "GODDAMMIT!!" along with numerous other obscenities.

The forks, too; I have to sit on my hands, usually, so that I don't inflict any radical violence on the potato-muncher with the forks. Because those forks are sharp, and surely can pierce skin.